7 Divorce Mediation Tips in Boston

When going through a divorce in Boston, you and your spouse may request to go through mediation. When divorcing spouses make decisions through mediation, it conserves court resources. However, mediation is not necessarily an easier process than letting a judge make major decisions, including what constitutes the marital and separate property, the division of assets and debts, alimony, child custody, and child support.

If you and your spouse are headed into divorce mediation, you need to prepare for the process. The best way to do this is to speak with our experienced Boston divorce & family law attorneys at Infinity Law Group. We can offer several divorce mediation tips and guidance throughout the process.

1. Be Careful in Hiring a Divorce Mediator

There is no overarching federal law regarding a mediator’s education, training, or licensing requirements. However, Massachusetts has certain basic qualification requirements. When you and your spouse must hire a mediator during your divorce, talk with an experienced Boston divorce attorney about the basic qualifications and experience you should look for in a mediator. An attorney also may have recommendations for skilled and trustworthy mediators in the area.

2. Decide on Your Needs and Wants

Before beginning mediation, you need to be aware of all of the potential outcomes. It is up to you to go through these difficult conversations with your spouse and negotiate the terms of the divorce. To do this, you must have a clear understanding of what you need to walk away with. You also need to understand what you need versus what you want. This can help you avoid stalling the conversation by demanding something you want, yet you do not really need it.

3. Do Not Expect the Mediator to Advise You

A mediator is a neutral third party who is present at the discussions to ensure you and your spouse are able to effectively communicate and keep the discussion on track. Your mediator is not an advisor to either party. They will not give you or your spouse advice regarding what should or should not be the outcome of the matter at hand.

4. You Must Participate

During mediation, you and your spouse will be sitting down in a room with your mediator. If you refuse to talk with your spouse or negotiate, then mediation will go nowhere. You have to be prepared to participate, speak up for yourself, exert your rights, and determine when it is best for you to be flexible in order for you to reach a resolution through mediation.

5. You Will Have to Compromise

Mediation is not an appropriate path if you refuse to compromise. Mediation is about having a comprehensive discussion with your spouse about a specific matter and coming to an agreement with each of you can live with about that matter, whether it is the division of marital property or child custody. You are not going to get everything you want through meditation and you have to be prepared for that.

6. Do Not Rely on the Internet for Help

There are a lot of websites out there that discuss divorce mediation. We recommend you talk with us at Infinity Law Group if you have any questions or concerns. Each state has different rules and processes for divorce mediation. Also, do not rely on advice from the internet regarding what you should receive or might have to pay regarding child support, alimony, or a property settlement. Again, each state’s laws are different, and the internet can be—and is often—wrong.

7. Learn to Contain Your Emotions

Mediation can become contentious or even ineffective if you cannot control your emotions and actions. This is not to say you should be emotionless during your mediation sessions. You can and should clearly express your thoughts and feelings. However, you should not let your emotions get the better of you, especially your anger. If you are becoming overwhelmed during a mediation session, do not hesitate to ask for a break and step out of the room for a few minutes.

Contact Infinity Law Group for Advice

Going through a divorce is difficult and sitting down with your spouse once or several times to resolve all of the issues can cause a significant emotional toll. However, mediation does not have to be contentious or impossible to get through. There are ways to help the mediation progress go more smoothly. In addition to following these tips, our Boston divorce & family law attorneys can help you thoroughly prepare for the mediation process and reach a settlement agreement as soon as possible.

Contact our main office in Quincy, MA today at (617) 250-8236 to schedule a consultation.